Feminism is not about offending men. Feminists and man-haters are two different things. Feminism is about liberating ourselves from social, political and sexual oppressive systems and structures in order to find our own individual identity and freedom.
Tonight I went to the cinema to watch „#Female Pleasure“. A documentary about 5 different women in 5 different countries sharing their personal stories about sexuality, female pleasure, rape, harrassment, liberation, empowerment, political and cultural oppression and feminism. In this Video I will share my own experiences while watching and WHY i think that it is so important that men get involved into feminism too.
It was shocking to realize what is still going on in so many places in the world. Thousands of women and children get raped everyday. Thousands of girls get genitally mutilated everyday, which means half of their genitals are cut away with a knife. Although I was already familiar with information like this, it was touching to see the personal stories of these women, pointing out that all of this is still happening, right now , right here.
Even being a western, quite privileged woman, I have to face lots of gender inequalities in my country. There is a 20% payment gap between women and men in Austria. Its the women that get paid less, for whatever reason? I am bombarded with sexists advertisment everyday, that shows 14-year old anorexic female models, photoshoppped with immense boobs. Of course it is subconsciously influencing me to be seen as a sex object in this society. If I wear tight jeans, everybody looks at my ass. If a man does the same, no one seems to care. I like to feel sexy and also sometimes I like to get looks from men – but not all the time and not in inappropriate ways. I want to feel free in how I dress. I don´t wanna be seen as a slut if I wear short skirts and I don´t wanna be named a bitch when communicating my boundaries.
I have experienced situations where men would feel offended when I wouldn´t want to have sexual intercourse with them. Or when I was telling them where and how I wanted to be touched. I was simply expressing my needs and desires – which is part of SEXUAL CONSENT.
This thing about consent is something thats always been a tricky thing in this world. When you get raped as a woman its usually your fault. And when you don´t say no to sexual activities (even though you don´t say yes) people think that you really want it. Nowadays sexuality is still focused on men´s pleasure and oftentimes excludes #femalepleasure. Even in the western world I see myself and many other women, still suffering from this subconscious conditioning. So many women have no idea about their own pleasure and also don´t have the courage to stand up for their boundaries and desires. But hey – that is the most natural thing in the world! Making love is about listening to each other and doing it together – not simply taking what you want from another person!
And in order to change that we need to work together and communicate with each other. We need you guys to listen, to understand, to work on your own inner healing as much as we do it as women. We need you to stand up for us! We need to talk to each other. Communicate. Because in the end male and female pleasure go hand in hand. I don´t think any men is truly satisfied with an unsatisfied woman lying next to him, no? Men need to be involved in this conversation!
I believe we need to let go of always identifiying ourselves through our differences and start realizing that we are quite similar too. And that in the end we all want the same:
To be happy
If you are interested to watch the documentary, look it up at your local cinema!